After a year without posting anything on my blog, I decided to start writing again. I felt the need to do it because there are things that you just can’t write on music. Some people say that when words fail, music speaks. But when there is no capacity to finish a new track, we need to go back to words – the basis of a communication that still manages to be objective.
Many of you wonder why I haven’t released new songs for more than a year since Yin Yang. The answer is in one word – perfectionism. And I’m not talking about the positive version of perfectionism. I’m talking about a version capable of causing chronic unhappiness and dissatisfaction.
We’ll return to this in a moment. First I want to share with you a brief summary of what was my experience before the pandemic.
My expectations were high after I released the album Yin Yang in June 2019. I believed that this was the “game changer” that I needed in my life to be able to achieve international recognition with my music. It took a while, but after a few months the email account started to fill up with booking offers and finally – my first world tour.
India, Russia, Egypt, South America… I was on fire! A guy from a small portuguese village called Rebordinho was touring around the world, make a living from music. What I always dreamed of when I started this project in 2015 was really happening. It’s impressive the support and love I received all over the world – fans who made thousands of miles to see me playing, who offered me gifts grateful for the impact that my music had on their lives… DAMN, fans who made tattoos with my logo and my mask. Unbelievable!
And yet, I thought the feeling was going to be different. I wanted it to be different, more intense, more lasting. I worked so hard to get here, it couldn’t be just that. I achieved so much and still it’s not enough. It reminds me the introduction song of the TV series Vikings:
This will never end ’cause I want more
More, give me more, give more…
I was on tour and I was just thinking about having a free week or two to be able to work on new tracks because I felt I was already being too repetitive on my sets, that the audience wanted to hear something new.
And then… the pandemic, the quarantine, the long days at home. I thought “Yes! Finally I have some time to produce new songs. When I get back to the gigs I will have a new set full of new music to present.”
“But not now. It looks like the pandemic is here to stay for a few months so I’m going to relax for a week and then I go back to the studio.”
A week has passed. Then two weeks. Then a month. No new songs were finished.
I felt inspired, I always did. My creativity has always been there, I can’t complain about that. The devil was in the details – the kick that didn’t sound right, the bassline that didn’t balance with the kick, the melody that didn’t have enough presence in the song, and when I realized I was clicking on the “Open New Project” button. It was easier to start a new project than to repair the old one. And then the cycle was repeated and I couldn’t get out of it. I was trapped.
Perfection – something that I had always seen as a good thing now wasn’t letting me finish a song. And I really believe that the song was good. You would probably hear it and say “Wow, this is great!”
But nooo! The kick wasn’t right and the bassline didn’t fit. At some point I thought “Am I getting commercial? Am I really good?”
Fucking stupid plague doctor…
The great irony of perfectionism is that despite the characteristic of great motivation to achieve success, it can be exactly what prevents an artist from being successful. Perfectionism is strongly linked to the fear of making mistakes and self-sabotaging behaviors, such as excessive procrastination.
In fact, perfectionists usually perform very well. But in my case, there was a price to pay. In a way to try to reach the stars, I ended up chasing the wind.
And I know that I’m not the only one. Unfortunately, we are no longer a minority in today’s society that demands the best; we need to be number one in everything. The problem is that perfectionism can lead to much more complex mental problems and it’s sometimes difficult to get out of them.
If you are a music artist, or simply a perfectionist, you probably should be identifying yourself with everything I’m saying. And I’m not writing this post with the aim of saying that perfectionism is a bad thing. But it can immobilize you. In the end, done is better than perfect.
Which brings me to the last topic of this post – the release of my new single Time To Move On. Finally!
Inspired by everything I said so far, I decided to create and FINISH this song, regardless of the final result. Good reviews, bad reviews… it doesn’t matter! I just composed this track in a positive way of getting around the situation because there is no point in focusing on the doubts. It’s time to look forward. It’s Time To Move On.
Many emotions on this track, beautiful melodies, different beats, intelligent construction and mesmerizing vocals. In the end, it reflects the true concept of Melodark – the mix between light and darkness! You know… for me, music is not just music. It’s a story.
There is a female vocal during the song that says some of the following quotes:
- You cannot get out of this.
- Nothing is wrong with you.
- Accept the situation and move on.
- Guilt can only truly come from within.
All of these quotes are wake up calls for me. This is a song that motivates me and I hope it motivates you too during this atypical times.
Time To Move On is OUT NOW and you can stream or buy it here:
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